thanks!

Let me just apologize off the bat, and I know this can sound shocking, but I just don't find most babies to be cute. I think little kids can be cute - past the toddler stage because even toddlers are pushing it. What's nuts is I once heard that if you don't think babies are cute you will: be a horrible mother yourself, and I've even heard that it's the first sign that you don't have a soul?

Look, I'm sure if I were to have a kid, I would like it. Like, I seriously doubt I would reject it because I didn't find it cute. And I'm sure it would be a situation where I thought I somehow had the only cute baby on the planet, by some miracle. I'm pretty sure that's how this type of situation goes. At least, for my future children's sake I sincerely hope so.

It wasn't brought to my attention how much babies can freak me out until recently - when all these videos of babies dancing started popping up on the internet. Most people would gush about how cute it is and yada yada yada but watching these chubby little limbs move in these strange, unnatural ways seriously freaks the hell out of me. I'm literally more comfortable watching that creepy computer animated "ooga chakka" hooked on a feeling baby than I am watching actual babies dance. What's really weird is just how many videos of babies dancing to "Single Ladies" exist on the internet. This leads me to believe that countless parents forced their baby to dance to the song, sparking a popularity contest amongst babies which begs the question "Doesn't my baby look adorable dancing to Single Ladies!!!" It makes me think of parents like, rehearsing with their babies "nooo you have to shake your booty more!" Maybe this isn't how these types of situations go, but that's the first thing that comes to mind.

What frightens me about this one:

isn't that the baby is dancing on a wood table and could easily slip off, but that it moves way too much like an adult. It's almost human, but at the same time not? Because the limbs aren't really developed and you'd expect the baby to maybe flail around or even just sway or hop up and down but it actually has more coordination than many adults. I'm sorry I keep referring to the baby as an "it". Is it a boy or a girl? That's another thing with babies - who can tell!

So, of course I'll always tell you how cute your baby is. It's just social etiquette, I understand that. I'm probably lying - but I promise, it's absolutely nothing personal. I'm sure by people-with-souls standards, you do have an adorable baby.