thanks!

I get that this is super awkward and all, seeing how i'm an awkward individual - well awhile back i made a list of the top ten films of the decade. I thought i'd put more sass into it though so i made a stupid video, complete with pixie dust. I know, my opinions are SO BAD and yeah yeah, my hair and face were sorta messed the FUCK up. I'm not going to embed, because the preview image is essentially a spoiler (!!!!!) so just click the link below. Well, here we go bitches.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8DETagjhgM

Weird story. I originally started playing piano when I was seven years old, I got pretty good - used to occasionally compete, and I wasn't bad by any means... but as I got older, I stopped playing as much, and in the few years I stopped playing I had really lost it. I'm not the type of person who can remain good at something if I'm not practicing all the time. Although I'm disappointed that I'm not anywhere near as good at playing as I used to be - about a year ago I started composing a song. A, as in one song. Which sounds strange that I would write only one song, if I was going to write at all - but every time I'd sit at the piano I'd play around with it - and it grew a lot over the year. I was really proud of it, and although it was simple I thought it was pretty.

Alright now awhile back, I had downloaded a couple of songs off of M83's album Saturdays = Youth, and a couple weeks ago I decided I liked those couple of songs a lot and wanted to finally listen to his entire album. As I'm listening, I hear this one song called "Too Late" and my heart just like, sank. The piano/keyboards in that song are almost IDENTICAL to some parts from my little song. I swear to you, I had never heard this song before a couple weeks ago. And it would melt your brain if you knew how similar they were. It's just so strange that something like this could've happened. Fucking universe. What kinda blows is that yeah it's like my song, but his is obviously way better.

The only person who's ever heard me play the song I'd written was my boyfriend, and he's heard it many times so he knows it pretty well. To test the theory that "Too Late" sounded just like mine and I wasn't nuts, I got him to sit down and listen to the M83 song and just asked him if it sounded familiar. It took him about a minute and I thought he wasn't going to make the comparison, but then he looked at me and said "Is that your song?"

So, here you go planet. I've written one song in my life and if you want to hear a better version of that song written by a different, more successful human being in what I guess should be a considered a freak coincidence, check it out here:



bah

Essentially, Keira Knightley is so freaking gorgeous - if my boyfriend left me for her I'd just be like "that's reasonable."

A review of "Dahmer", starring Jeremy Renner:


Who knew a movie about a serial killer could be so eff-ing boring!

To this day, one of my favorite things of all time has to be "Rocko's Modern Life". They simply don't make shows for kids anymore that are anything deeper than what you are actually looking at. This show used to joke about homosexuality, cults, addiction, politics, nudity, and literally the prospect of going to hell - and it was all created for the entertainment of children.

I went looking for this show on DVD, and ended up stumbling upon this website that had a list of all the episodes and short descriptions for each of them. As I was browsing some of them, I noticed that the general idea of each of these episodes is even more brilliant that I had even realized. Here are a couple of my favorite descriptions:


- "Heffer unknowingly trades his soul for an opportunity to be on a TV game show"
- "Filburt talks Rocko into going wig-snatching with him"
- "While helping Rocko make a video for his parents, Heffer and Filburt shoot footage of Rocko sleepwalking naked. When they give the footage to the Chameleon Brothers for editing, they edit together an Art-House video centering on Rocko's nudity"
- "Heffer wins a trip to Astro-Camp after participating in a talent show, but Heffer's dad won't let him go, since he thinks that burping his way to Astro-Camp is ridiculous"

Man, being a kid kind of blows now. Instead of all this cool shit, they just have... Gabba Gabba Goo or something or other.

At this point, I've been asked enough times "Why are you always taking pictures of yourself!" Either people find them on my camera or they see them as my default picture on facebook. They're usually insinuating that I'm lame because I do it, but I have my reasons. Which I will go into

right

now.

The digital camera age has been a gigantic help to me. To quote Cher from Clueless: "I don't trust mirrors". Sure I use them to get ready, but throughout my life there have been one too many times where I *think* I look one way, and then a picture will pop up of me and I'm like "COME ON!" My mascara will be up by my forehead - it's just a huge mess. So a few years ago I started realizing that pictures were the only way I was able to figure out these problems and that I needed to start taking pictures of myself after I get ready. Huge boost in morale. Seriously. Of course I have to take a couple from different angles, and I sit there making goofy faces while I'm trying to assess the situation. I end up deleting most of them DUHHH - but the ones I like? Yeah. Those definitely end up on facebook.

I'll also address why my default picture on facebook will almost always be a picture that I took myself. Plain and simple: I am NOT photogenic in a group setting. So duh, I'd love to use that picture of me in the bar holding up two drinks and winking - but I look like fucking Roseanne Barr in that picture. On a seriously rare occasion has someone been able to capture a decent picture of me in a casual setting. My question I have for you is simply this: Why would I use the picture where I look like garbage, but proves that I do things and have friends, when I can use the picture that's well, at least slightly better - and then you have to get to know me to see if I have any friends?

This stuff happens, I'm not devastated over it. But hopefully this has all shed some light. This is all done for mostly scientific reasons, I wish you would understand.

And now I will leave you with a montage of some of my famous "hey, how's my eyeliner!" pictures:


Being a girl blows.

Normally I hate writing movie reviews and, actually - ok I'm probably not going to put this in the "review" category. I had to write a zillion reviews in film school and my problem is that I'm not really able to properly articulate my feelings towards a film in a manner that is at all pleasant for the reader. So yeah, my reviews blow. Sorry, not my forte. This is more like a jambled mess of my thoughts as they enter my head. And right now they are directed at "Paranormal Activity". So, obviously, if you plan on seeing it don't continue to read - although I'm not entirely sure there's anything to spoil. Here we go!

I have a tendency to actually get scared during certain horror flicks. I'll cry during movies that I find really sad. I take movies super serious, which is why when I see a TERRIBLE movie it can actually make me mad. Now my boyfriend loves horror movies, it's sort of his thing - so when we started hearing all this jive about Paranormal Activity he kept trying to get me to go. For the reason that I tend to get scared, and I had been hearing it was "the scariest movie in years" - I was pretty reluctant. Yesterday he seemed adamant to go to the movies and we were between "The Men Who Stare at Goats" and PA. Goats actually appealed to me, but I knew he really wanted to see PA - sooo I decided to just go. Factoring into my decision was the fact that PA was raking in 85% on rottentomatoes.com - a compilation of every critic and review on the movie. Anything above 80% is usually a sure shot that the movie will at least be worth the experience. So I figured, it'll probably be an awesome movie despite me being freaked out by the subject matter.

The movie had a slow start. But for some reason the editing and the camera work was sort of enough for me to keep hanging on waiting for a pay off. I wish someone could have told me, that pay off would not ever come.

Lets talk about the characters for a second. I strongly believe that in a mockumentary type set-up, your characters have to be both interesting and witty or it can't work. Well shit, lets face it - characters should ALWAYS be interesting, or else what is the point. The guy, Micah, was sort of witty at times - he was somewhat attempting to keep the story going on the dialog front. But the girl, Katie, was just scared the entire time. Why do I care? I can't stand that in that set-up she wasn't ever really funny or cute. You need characters that you can actually invest your interest in as to what happens to them. I understood why Micah was the disbeliever, and why he wanted to challenge the demon - I understand that you need conflict, but it needs to make sense to the viewer. If all you have to do is NOT buy a oujia board, just don't buy a oujia board, eh?

Onto the story!!! It didn't exist. There was so much time building "suspense" that there was essentially no story telling and no answers given. There is this demon that has been haunting Katie since she was 8. The demon's presence gets more noticeable every night. Got it. They give little plot lines here and there that never end up adding up, which is unacceptable to me. What on earth was the point of mentioning that a demon (possibly the same demon) haunted a woman in the 60s? It didn't give any insight into the situation with Katie. The only hint of a plot I took away was that maybe the demon was in love with Katie or just wanted her for himself - which is why he'd scratched the picture of Micah's face and why he burned down Katie's family's house. But even that possibility wasn't made clear.

Nothing bugs me more than a cop out ending. I dabble in screenwriting and I'm a firm believer in NOT spelling things out for your audience, leaving them to their own devices, etc - but for that to work you have to leave enough clues and evidence for the viewer to be able to make those assumptions. I also think that you, as a writer with an ambiguous ending, have to have your own interpretation - what you actually know to be the ending, and if anyone else figures it out good for them, but if they interpret it another way - well that's cool too. PA had an ending that you could interpret in a couple of different ways. However, there was not a trace of any evidence that you could link to the ending in order for it to be the answer. If a script even existed, which I'm not completely sure one did, I get the feeling the writer went: "Dude, it would be so freaky if she just killed her boyfriend at the end! And then like, cut to black!"

The fire in her family's house was never explained, the picture Micah found of her in the crawlspace was, again, not touched on. I'm not saying you have to explain everything, but you have to give something or else why are you mentioning these things? If they don't all connect in some way you're basically throwing a bunch of random occurrences and tragedies together but that doesn't necessarily make it scary.

This movie had potential, and I'll give it credit for tapping into a fear of being terrorized in your own bed from something that you can't run or hide from. The thought of that is retarded scary. But with such a sloppy story and characters that aren't interesting enough to care about, the film ends up being a disgrace to such a fascinating idea and technique. Overhyped to the maxxxx

3/10

I'm also completely open to the possibility that I missed something HUGE somewhere along the way. I'm that confused by how everyone seemingly loves this movie, and I was so disappointed by it. Feel free to try and convince me otherwise, or if I somehow missed a gigantic plot point.

Let me just apologize off the bat, and I know this can sound shocking, but I just don't find most babies to be cute. I think little kids can be cute - past the toddler stage because even toddlers are pushing it. What's nuts is I once heard that if you don't think babies are cute you will: be a horrible mother yourself, and I've even heard that it's the first sign that you don't have a soul?

Look, I'm sure if I were to have a kid, I would like it. Like, I seriously doubt I would reject it because I didn't find it cute. And I'm sure it would be a situation where I thought I somehow had the only cute baby on the planet, by some miracle. I'm pretty sure that's how this type of situation goes. At least, for my future children's sake I sincerely hope so.

It wasn't brought to my attention how much babies can freak me out until recently - when all these videos of babies dancing started popping up on the internet. Most people would gush about how cute it is and yada yada yada but watching these chubby little limbs move in these strange, unnatural ways seriously freaks the hell out of me. I'm literally more comfortable watching that creepy computer animated "ooga chakka" hooked on a feeling baby than I am watching actual babies dance. What's really weird is just how many videos of babies dancing to "Single Ladies" exist on the internet. This leads me to believe that countless parents forced their baby to dance to the song, sparking a popularity contest amongst babies which begs the question "Doesn't my baby look adorable dancing to Single Ladies!!!" It makes me think of parents like, rehearsing with their babies "nooo you have to shake your booty more!" Maybe this isn't how these types of situations go, but that's the first thing that comes to mind.

What frightens me about this one:

isn't that the baby is dancing on a wood table and could easily slip off, but that it moves way too much like an adult. It's almost human, but at the same time not? Because the limbs aren't really developed and you'd expect the baby to maybe flail around or even just sway or hop up and down but it actually has more coordination than many adults. I'm sorry I keep referring to the baby as an "it". Is it a boy or a girl? That's another thing with babies - who can tell!

So, of course I'll always tell you how cute your baby is. It's just social etiquette, I understand that. I'm probably lying - but I promise, it's absolutely nothing personal. I'm sure by people-with-souls standards, you do have an adorable baby.

I'm not sure anything fascinates me more than getting friend requests from fucking insane people. People you've never met that add you even though your status says that you are "in a relationship". I can't tell if they just like the high friend count? Or do they think this online relationship could blossom into a real life one? These are possibilities I've thought about, but am incapable of understanding.

I don't use myspace that often anymore, I usually log in once or twice every couple weeks, but I enjoy going through my friend requests and messages from these types of people. My favorite one that I've received lately is from a guy who refers to himself as "SaMe ShIt DiFFeReNt DaY!!!"

This is his "About Me" section, verbatim: "ok u wanna know about me well its really hard 4 me 2 trust females cause they play a shit load of head games so idk what else 2 say but fuck everyone even you !!!" His favorite music is hip hop and R&B and "none of that rock an roll shit". His favorite film is "The Day After Tomorrow". I had no idea it was possible for that to be anyone's favorite movie. When asked his favorite book, he responds: "who the fu*k has time 2 read a fuckin bull shit ass book when i can watch the fuckin movie about it". He also has his own name tattooed on him, pictures that he drew of girls eating each other out (they weren't bad sketches either), and pictures that he took of himself smoking weed.

I think this guy might be "the one".

I want to clear up that I'm in no way making fun of online dating. I think sites like match.com and eHarmony are fucking cool. There's absolutely no shame in trying to find someone that you can have a connection with even for like, a second. Everyone deserves an entire lifetime of those seconds. I am, however, making fun of the people who are clearly not interested in this, and go about life (and myspace) the way SaMe ShiT DiFfferent DAyyy does.

Alright, this is my first post and I don't want to make it a trend to talk about bad feelings and all, but this thing I'm about to talk about bugged me enough to make me write an entire blog entry about it.

I've been having insomnia and such the past couple months. I'll lay awake at night and think about anything and everything. It is the absolute worst way to spend your night. After the first couple weeks, my brain started to run out of things to even think about and starts jumping into hidden memories I had completely forgotten I even had.

Maybe a month ago I remembered this cartoon I saw when I was very young. I couldn't remember exactly how it went, but I knew it had to do with a cute little fox dying and then being a ghost? And it disturbed the hell out of me. I remember this cartoon seriously upsetting me as a child. It was one of those VHS tapes that has a bunch of old cartoons on them from like the 60s or 70s, I guess? I went looking for it in my house so I could see what was bothering me so much about it. When I couldn't find it, I literally googled "looney tunes ghost fox old cartoon" and was shocked when I found it almost immediately. Turns out it was an old episode in a series of Casper the Friendly Ghost cartoons and it was on youtube, of all places.

I swear to you, from about the first ten seconds in, I thought I was going to have a stroke. I could remember it as if I saw it last week. It starts off with Casper, not wanting to scare anyone so he's unable to identify with his own kind (the ghosts) so he decides to befriend some adorable (and alive) baby animals. However, the baby animals are terrified of this ghost. Understandable. But when Casper completely gives up hope, a cute little baby fox takes pity on him and they become best friends. Then a hunter and his dogs pass by and go after the fox - but Casper doesn't see (because they were playing Hide and Seek!) and they end up killing the fox! So Casper buries him, but then the fox comes back from the grave as a ghost so they remain best friends. As ghosts. Together. It's supposed to be a happy ending. It's not to me. I was absolutely bawling. I thought this was one of the saddest things I've ever seen.

If you feel inclined:


I mean seriously, just look at the preview picture for the video - as if that isn't enough devastation right there.
I wish I could figure out why this has such an awful effect on me. Maybe I'll think about that tonight.