thanks!

Alright, this is my first post and I don't want to make it a trend to talk about bad feelings and all, but this thing I'm about to talk about bugged me enough to make me write an entire blog entry about it.

I've been having insomnia and such the past couple months. I'll lay awake at night and think about anything and everything. It is the absolute worst way to spend your night. After the first couple weeks, my brain started to run out of things to even think about and starts jumping into hidden memories I had completely forgotten I even had.

Maybe a month ago I remembered this cartoon I saw when I was very young. I couldn't remember exactly how it went, but I knew it had to do with a cute little fox dying and then being a ghost? And it disturbed the hell out of me. I remember this cartoon seriously upsetting me as a child. It was one of those VHS tapes that has a bunch of old cartoons on them from like the 60s or 70s, I guess? I went looking for it in my house so I could see what was bothering me so much about it. When I couldn't find it, I literally googled "looney tunes ghost fox old cartoon" and was shocked when I found it almost immediately. Turns out it was an old episode in a series of Casper the Friendly Ghost cartoons and it was on youtube, of all places.

I swear to you, from about the first ten seconds in, I thought I was going to have a stroke. I could remember it as if I saw it last week. It starts off with Casper, not wanting to scare anyone so he's unable to identify with his own kind (the ghosts) so he decides to befriend some adorable (and alive) baby animals. However, the baby animals are terrified of this ghost. Understandable. But when Casper completely gives up hope, a cute little baby fox takes pity on him and they become best friends. Then a hunter and his dogs pass by and go after the fox - but Casper doesn't see (because they were playing Hide and Seek!) and they end up killing the fox! So Casper buries him, but then the fox comes back from the grave as a ghost so they remain best friends. As ghosts. Together. It's supposed to be a happy ending. It's not to me. I was absolutely bawling. I thought this was one of the saddest things I've ever seen.

If you feel inclined:


I mean seriously, just look at the preview picture for the video - as if that isn't enough devastation right there.
I wish I could figure out why this has such an awful effect on me. Maybe I'll think about that tonight.